why didn't you poke me back
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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