I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize