he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
