last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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