thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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