it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You need a sexual gate keeper
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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