Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
