1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just pee around me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
