i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
