he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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