i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
