Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
