there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
