Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
