her vagine was all disorganized.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
