he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
