I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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