No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
