Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
