i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
