At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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