make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
