GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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