and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
