we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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