I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
