they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
