508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
