Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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