So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
