they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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