i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
