I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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