he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
