And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
