Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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