so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
