Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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