i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
