We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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