Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish you could order shots online.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
