Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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