I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
