I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
