??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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