Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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