Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
