Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
