Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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