a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
